Most survivors agree that it takes an average of 12–18 months after the end of a psychopathic, or narcissistic, relationship to begin to feel normal.

Even after that length of time, there may be days when a survivor feels depressed or sad without fully understanding why.

There are many reasons why this happens.

A lot depends on the length of the relationship and the degree of abuse the victim suffered.

Another factor is the individual survivor’s commitment to self-healing. And their desire to thrive, as opposed to merely surviving.

After only three months, you haven’t had enough time to heal.

You’re probably still trying to come to terms with the fact that you were with a narcissist.

Have mercy on yourself. Allow your mind, body, and spirit enough time to regenerate.

There’s no way to rush the hard work and gut-wrenching self-reflection required to heal. And it’s something only you can do.

I’m not going to kid you, it is tough.

But very much worth the effort. Even then, there will be triggers that slap you in the face occasionally.

I had a minor meltdown myself last week.

I came across a picture that was taken a couple of months after having 3 disks in my neck replaced by a neurosurgeon.

My Malignant Narcissist then-husband had thrown me onto our back deck in a violent rage. The result was 3 herniated, or ruptured, disks.

The surgeon had to cut the front of my neck, leaving an ugly scar, where none had been. Not to mention the pain and suffering I endured because of the narc’s actions.

Seeing that picture sent me into a tailspin of long-held anger and rage.

Hatred and sadness.

It seemed like I was going to explode if I didn’t scream and kick at something.

So I went to the gym and kick-boxed. I beat the crap out of a punching bag. I released as much of the pent-up anger as possible.

Then I took a shower and cried like a baby.

I allowed myself as long as I needed, which was a pretty long time. But getting it out released the burden that had been on my heart.

I came to the realization that one of the biggest reasons it takes so long to heal from narcissistic abuse is because there’s so much to heal from.

I wish you the best.

Originally Answered by Serena Prince on Quora.

The Author, Serena Prince


To Read My Answers on Quora:


2 thoughts on “What Is The Best Way To Make A Narcissist Think Twice Before Attacking Or Abusing You?”

  1. As much as I’d like to say that this person who abused you is to be condemned, destroyed, eaten alive by whatever nightmare could be thrown at them…

    I’d still like to say that this person who abused you, did not wake up one day and was this way.

    These distorted mindsets develop over time. I’m not as experienced as you seem to be in these subjects. All I do is think, and perhaps think too much.

    I tend to try to understand somebody, or somebody’s way of thinking. Every mindset develops over time, and I do know that a descent down into a Hellish mindset is a far shorter process, than a rise towards wisdom and maturity. I also believe that no matter how much darkness one has thrown, like a quilt, over their own remorse, there’s always a part of that person who wants to say, “I am sorry for all I’ve done.”

    I don’t know if the same is true for you, though such Narcissists are also people who experience immense pain, within themselves. Am I feeling sorry for them? I indeed am, because their victims, like you, are just as much affected by their actions, as their actions are affecting them; though, they don’t display remorse, because each terrible action such people commit, is like tossing dirt onto something that is treated like it is dead. Trying to ignore something that should be treated for its life, for its beauty, is something that a Narcissist or anyone else with a disturbed personality, is doing to themselves, as much as they do against other people.

    I find that it takes FAR more strength to forgive, than it takes to simply walk away from such people.

    I also hope that my words didn’t offend, as I know this is a deep subject for anyone having personally experienced it.

    1. I’m not offended at all by your words, and am grateful that you took the time to comment.
      I was married to this man for 18 years. Throughout the marriage I held onto the belief that he just had anger management problems, abandonment issues, and was abused as a child. I desperately wanted to believe that his actions weren’t intentional and that he would change somehow.
      Even after he tried to kill me, I forgave him.

      Turns out that he is a sadistic Malignant Narcissist, and the only thing he was sorry about was that he didn’t succeed in killing me.
      I had to come to terms with the fact that if I stayed in the marriage, I would end up dead. So I got out, and have been working on forgiving someone who isn’t sorry.
      That’s easier said than done. I do pray for him, but I will always keep my distance from now on.
      Again, thank you for your comments!! Xoxo

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