I just answered this question on Quora. It’s one that every survivor of narcissistic abuse will have. Not necessarily from me. But when victims first start to recover, it’s natural to ask for advice from survivors who have been through the same experience. I hope my answer is helpful.
The question is: May I Ask Your Advice? I’m Having A Really Bad Time After Being Discarded By My Narcissist Ex, And I Just Now Realized He’s A Narcissist.
This is my answer:
First and foremost, have mercy on yourself. Understand that you are not to blame for being conned by a narcissist.
So many people who have never been entwined in a narcissist’s web of lies falsely believe that it wouldn’t happen to them. They are dead wrong. It can happen to anybody.
Also, prepare yourself mentally for pain. Think about what you’re going to go through on your path to recovery in the same way you would if you just broke a bone.
You know you are going to face a certain amount of pain. There’s no way to get around it. So accept it. Embrace it, even, as a valuable life lesson. And learn everything you can from it.
Educate yourself on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse recovery. Knowledge is power, though it’s not a pain reliever. In fact, there will be times when the knowledge you’re gaining exacerbates your pain.
Accept the emotional agony so you can process it. Allow yourself to cry, scream, and rage when you get the urge. But do it in a safe place so you can get it all out. Purging the negativity is essential and you can’t do it if you restrain yourself.
Everyone deals with things differently, so what works for some people won’t necessarily work for others. But there’s one thing that is true for everyone.
If you don’t allow yourself to feel the pain, the humiliation, the loss, and the grief, you will not be able to heal.
Just like with a broken bone, your spirit and soul are wounded. You won’t heal without facing some necessary pain.
Accept that knowledge and give yourself the time and self-care that are necessary for a full recovery.
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Originally Answered By Serena Prince On Quora.
To Read My Answers On Quora: https://quora.com/profile/Serena-Prince-2.
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