I used to wish I’d never met my Malignant Narcissist ex.

But that was before I realized how strong I became in the aftermath of our relationship.

Don’t get me wrong. It sucks to go through the chaos that life with a narc brings.

It sucks to have everything you’ve ever believed about people be proven wrong in such horrific ways.

Of course it does.

But it’s going to still suck no matter what.

It’s better to have gained SOMETHING from all that hell.

When I started to realize how much strength I’d gained, I began to think of other things I’d either gained or gotten back.

Gradually, I made peace with some of my inner demons and even met the little girl I once was.

She’s really cool, by the way.

I also gained something that I’d never had.

Not before the narc.

Not after, for a while.

But eventually I gained self-love, self-acceptance, and self-respect!!



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Originally Answered By Serena Prince On Quora.

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2 thoughts on “What Is The Best Way To Make A Narcissist Think Twice Before Attacking Or Abusing You?”

  1. As much as I’d like to say that this person who abused you is to be condemned, destroyed, eaten alive by whatever nightmare could be thrown at them…

    I’d still like to say that this person who abused you, did not wake up one day and was this way.

    These distorted mindsets develop over time. I’m not as experienced as you seem to be in these subjects. All I do is think, and perhaps think too much.

    I tend to try to understand somebody, or somebody’s way of thinking. Every mindset develops over time, and I do know that a descent down into a Hellish mindset is a far shorter process, than a rise towards wisdom and maturity. I also believe that no matter how much darkness one has thrown, like a quilt, over their own remorse, there’s always a part of that person who wants to say, “I am sorry for all I’ve done.”

    I don’t know if the same is true for you, though such Narcissists are also people who experience immense pain, within themselves. Am I feeling sorry for them? I indeed am, because their victims, like you, are just as much affected by their actions, as their actions are affecting them; though, they don’t display remorse, because each terrible action such people commit, is like tossing dirt onto something that is treated like it is dead. Trying to ignore something that should be treated for its life, for its beauty, is something that a Narcissist or anyone else with a disturbed personality, is doing to themselves, as much as they do against other people.

    I find that it takes FAR more strength to forgive, than it takes to simply walk away from such people.

    I also hope that my words didn’t offend, as I know this is a deep subject for anyone having personally experienced it.

    1. I’m not offended at all by your words, and am grateful that you took the time to comment.
      I was married to this man for 18 years. Throughout the marriage I held onto the belief that he just had anger management problems, abandonment issues, and was abused as a child. I desperately wanted to believe that his actions weren’t intentional and that he would change somehow.
      Even after he tried to kill me, I forgave him.

      Turns out that he is a sadistic Malignant Narcissist, and the only thing he was sorry about was that he didn’t succeed in killing me.
      I had to come to terms with the fact that if I stayed in the marriage, I would end up dead. So I got out, and have been working on forgiving someone who isn’t sorry.
      That’s easier said than done. I do pray for him, but I will always keep my distance from now on.
      Again, thank you for your comments!! Xoxo

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