She has been through hell. Believe me when I say fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles.

How Do You Deal With Your Anger And Rage At Your Narcissist Ex For All The Destruction And Heartache He Caused?


With as many creative, and ever-evolving, coping mechanisms as my frustrated brain can come up with.

What works splendidly one day may not do shit the next time I need it. There’s really no way to know in advance what will bring me comfort. And what will just piss me off even more.

Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse is a fickle process. Half the time, when I’m in a pit of despair, I don’t even know why. 

I’ll have no clue what caused my sudden by descent into hopelessness. Not understanding why I’m miserable prevents me from knowing how to process my emotions. 

Or even what emotions need processing.

If you had asked me this question a month ago, my answer would’ve been different. Because a month ago, I thought I had this shit figured out.

I took pride in offering advice to other survivors. I had learned so much, and come so far, from the broken person I had been.

I was proud of my newfound inner strength. My life was good. And I was content to just be me.

But oh, how far the mighty fall.

In the blink of an eye, and with no warning, I reverted to the broken, scared shell of my previous self.

All the months of hard work to build up my self-respect . . . 

All the strides I’d made to be a survivor, instead of a victim, disappeared in an instant.

I found myself broken again, for no apparent reason. And I was powerless to do anything about it. 

It was exactly like the first couple of weeks after going No Contact. Like when I went through withdrawal from the trauma bonds. And when I felt paralyzed by the C-PTSD.

The confusion, the doubts, the fears I thought I’d overcome, jumped up and bit me in the ass.

I’d managed to survive it all before. But I didn’t think I could do it again.

I didn’t want to do it again.

For almost two weeks, I couldn’t find the strength or desire to even consider trying. So I dropped out of living for a while.

I did nothing but wallow in self-pity. And wonder how I had ended up back in hell.

Finally the fog began to lift, and I could form rational thoughts. Once I was able to think clearly, I tried to self-reflect. 

For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what had happened to cause the breakdown. So I started reading my Quora answers, blog posts, and journals. 

It was like someone else had written them. And I was reading it all for the first time.

I re-educated myself on manipulation techniques used by narcissists. Things started to click until the aha moments became overwhelming.

I had almost done it again. Almost fallen into a narcissist’s trap. Again.

Despite knowing better, I’d been ignoring the warning signs. My gut had been trying to tell my heart what my head already knew.

My dad is a Covert Narcissist.

He had been actively trying to suck me back into the chaos and drama he always provides.

With acceptance came anger. New rage mixed with old rage, and I felt like I would explode.

I knew I needed to allow myself to feel the pain, in order to exorcise that particular demon. Only then would I be able to move on.

I did a good bit of crying for a day or so. Then, just as suddenly as the darkness had come over me, it evaporated.

With that episode behind me, I see that I still have a lot of healing to do. But I find comfort in the realization that I can protect myself now. 

Because knowledge really is power.


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2 thoughts on “What Is The Best Way To Make A Narcissist Think Twice Before Attacking Or Abusing You?”

  1. As much as I’d like to say that this person who abused you is to be condemned, destroyed, eaten alive by whatever nightmare could be thrown at them…

    I’d still like to say that this person who abused you, did not wake up one day and was this way.

    These distorted mindsets develop over time. I’m not as experienced as you seem to be in these subjects. All I do is think, and perhaps think too much.

    I tend to try to understand somebody, or somebody’s way of thinking. Every mindset develops over time, and I do know that a descent down into a Hellish mindset is a far shorter process, than a rise towards wisdom and maturity. I also believe that no matter how much darkness one has thrown, like a quilt, over their own remorse, there’s always a part of that person who wants to say, “I am sorry for all I’ve done.”

    I don’t know if the same is true for you, though such Narcissists are also people who experience immense pain, within themselves. Am I feeling sorry for them? I indeed am, because their victims, like you, are just as much affected by their actions, as their actions are affecting them; though, they don’t display remorse, because each terrible action such people commit, is like tossing dirt onto something that is treated like it is dead. Trying to ignore something that should be treated for its life, for its beauty, is something that a Narcissist or anyone else with a disturbed personality, is doing to themselves, as much as they do against other people.

    I find that it takes FAR more strength to forgive, than it takes to simply walk away from such people.

    I also hope that my words didn’t offend, as I know this is a deep subject for anyone having personally experienced it.

    1. I’m not offended at all by your words, and am grateful that you took the time to comment.
      I was married to this man for 18 years. Throughout the marriage I held onto the belief that he just had anger management problems, abandonment issues, and was abused as a child. I desperately wanted to believe that his actions weren’t intentional and that he would change somehow.
      Even after he tried to kill me, I forgave him.

      Turns out that he is a sadistic Malignant Narcissist, and the only thing he was sorry about was that he didn’t succeed in killing me.
      I had to come to terms with the fact that if I stayed in the marriage, I would end up dead. So I got out, and have been working on forgiving someone who isn’t sorry.
      That’s easier said than done. I do pray for him, but I will always keep my distance from now on.
      Again, thank you for your comments!! Xoxo

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